find yourself

If you are feeling lost and stuck in life remember, you are not alone. So many many are just drifting along just enduring their current state in life. And that is just too sad.

 So in this post, I will show you how to find yourself when you feel lost and stuck in life so you can live your best most fulfilling life.

 Feeling lost or stuck in life is an existential crisis. It is a sign you need to change your life. 

Life can be so uncertain and murky at times leading us to feel lost and stuck. There are many different areas in our lives that can make us feel stuck.

 You may be feeling stuck in a relationship you have outgrown, a job you hate, or untenable family dynamics and toxic relationships.

 People may say well, find a new job, or leave the unhealthy relationship. But you know, it’s not that easy. It takes a lot to change these situations.

Big decisions that are quite scary need to be made. 

But fear not, for within the depths of your being lies the resilience and strength to make some positive changes and navigate your way back to yourself. 

When you feel lost and stuck in a life you must sit yourself down and be real with yourself. You must silence all the other voices that have dictated your actions up to this moment.

From here on out, ask yourself what you really want in life.

  You have been shaped by years of conditioning, but to find your true self and get unstuck, you must undo this conditioning.

  We all know when things in our lives are out of line. We get this inner voice that whispers to us telling us we need to change. And I suggest you pay attention to the inner voice.

Feeling lost and stuck in life is a common feeling, unfortunately. Life, of course, doesn’t come with instructions so it is just a matter of time before we hit a roadblock in life, and get stuck and lost.

When this happens we can feel like there is a secret password that others know and we don’t.  And so we continue to trudge along in life just putting one foot in front of the other numb and adrift, with no passion in our personal life. 

And that’s just too bad because life then just feels bland, tasteless, meaningless, and joyless.  We lose ourselves living without the zest for life.

 Unfortunately, it is difficult to know where to begin to build a life you love so that you live with passion, find meaning, and live fully, and joyfully.

You are not wrong to think that life should be blissful and fulfilling. It should! We should not be moving about in life as if we are part of a masquerade dance- like zombies moving about a  stage.

Steps to take when feeling stuck

If you are feeling lost and want to find yourself again, I want to say it is time.

Life is supposed to be lived and not just endured. In fact, finding yourself when feeling lost and stuck is one of the most difficult things you will ever do in your life.

But what power and light after!  What an amazing sense of self and purpose after!

So it is important that if you are feeling stuck and lost now, you start doing everything necessary to come back to yourself.

So how exactly can one start on the path towards finding themselves if they feel stuck and lost…adrift?

We will look deeper into how to find you can create a life that lights you up every day. It is time to live with passion.

This step-by-step guide will guide you to finally find yourself. All you need is to take some action daily. 

Those small steps will eventually add up to a complete new life and a new you and that stuck feeling will no longer plague you. 

Let’s get to it. Here is what to do to find yourself again and live life with passion. 

This post contains affiliate links.  And I only recommend products I use and love. Please see the full disclosure here.


Identify What You Really Want

how to get unstuck

When was the last time you actually asked yourself what you really want in life? The first thing to do when you need to find yourself when you feel lost and stuck in life is to take stock of your life.

 Ask the hard questions. Outline the kind of life you want.

Sometimes we get bogged down in living other people’s dreams for our lives. This may be because someone important in our lives told us it was the best thing for us and we followed along because we didn’t know better.

Or we were too intimidated to say otherwise or we believed it then and we thought that was the best.

Parents especially are implicated in this scenario. As parents, we want the best for our children and our parents wanted the best for us.

They wanted us to have the job that makes the most money maybe, or to marry that boy… and which parents don’t want their child to go to an Ivy League school and become well, a doctor, a lawyer, and such traditional well thought of careers.

But what if your child wants to become an artist? What if you wanted to become a dancer, or something else? Figure out what got you caught in this quagmire in the first place.   Sit down and really think about what it is you’d rather be doing in this life.

Sometimes we are stuck in other areas of life such as relationships. Career choices and relationships are some of the most common areas that can cause you to feel stuck.

So just start evaluating what you really want for a career, and why.  You should also evaluate current relationships and think about what about them is making you unhappy

If it is a significant relationship such as marriage, think about what areas in it need change and if that is possible. The other person may not think as you do.

They may not want to change anything or it may be that they cannot change. Counseling may help you both. And a big decision may need to be made.

To really feel unstuck you may have to start over and that can be pretty scary so make sure you have thought this through and it is the only way for you to be the you that you should be.

If you just have a vague sense of unease, one good way to get clear is to do a brain dump exercise. Just sit down and write all the things you would like to do feel and experience.

Don’t worry if some of them sound silly or impossible. Write down everything you think you desire and that would make you happy.

It may be the cities you want to visit or live in,  people you would love to meet, the best career, how much money you think you need,  the house you want, how you want to spend your time, hobbies you want to try, or practice and more.

Write everything down. Then start coming to the list daily and analyzing every area and its possibilities.

Look at the list and see what really speaks to you and explore that idea more. It may show you what is really missing and help you see the direction you need to go in.

Discover What Drives You.

 how to find yourself when you feel stuck

What drive you? What is your passion?  It is possible to feel so lost when you live passionless with nothing that really lights the fires of your heart and your mind.

We all need something that makes us jump out of bed every morning with anticipation.

What is it that you so love to do and your eyes and mind light up with ethidium for?   It may be a hobby that you enjoy on the side while you drudge along daily going to your day job. But you may want to think of it differently.

Can you turn that hobby into something that becomes your living? A career?  It is possible. And now even more than ever. Or may need to adopt a new hobby.

You will be surprised at the joy and fulfillment a hobby you love can bring. It may even be a way to meet new interesting and inspiring people.

And it can be a way to start a whole new way of life. 

Many people are making a living out of their love of gardening, photography, cooking, you name it.

 So just think about the one thing you love to do and start looking at ways you can make it your way of life. This fun hobby may be the key to so many new opportunities that can transform your life. 

 Visualize The Life You Want.

How to find yourself when you feel stuck

Don’t just think about the life you want. Bring it into sharp focus. Visualize it. There is great power in visualization.  To start, picture your best day and how the day would unfold, and what you would be doing. Picture your weekends.

It may be difficult at the present moment to imagine your life differently. But that right there is the key. There is so much power in visualization.

 Allow yourself to dream. Visualize the best career and what you would do on a day-to-day basis. Where are you and what are you doing?

Create a vision board that showcases what you want your life to look like.

Do you what to travel? Find symbols of cities you want to see and put them on your vision board

If you want a new career, find something to represent that. Or do you want freedom? Put as many symbols and representations of what you envision on your vision board and keep it prominent so you see it daily as a motivator.

It is okay to dream.  Bring that image of the best life for you into focus through the power of visualization.

Have Some Goals

how to find yurself when you feel stuck

One important step in finding yourself when feeling lost is setting smart goals. Any major change in life requires a strategy and goals to get you from where you are now to where you really want to be. 

Thinking alone will not move you forward. You need a plan that will help you and motivate you to take the right actions.

Without goals,  you lack direction and you may find things overwhelming and you may give up. Goals and a plan of action will propel you forward.

If it is a new career you want, have goals towards that such as the goal to enroll in a class by a certain time or to accomplish a step toward your desired career, maybe write a new resume.

 So start making smart goals and planning and then implement those plans by taking daily action. Having goals arms you with a new sense of purpose and offers you daily direction. 

Related post: Steps to attaining your health goals in 2019

Start Taking Action

Just do it. Take action. You must of course take action to start creating the life you want.  It is how you find yourself. It works. Remember, any big change begins with a single step.

But what joy when you start seeing the results? When you are living in your truth and power.  And don’t worry about perfection. Take imperfect actions, and just keep moving forward.

They don’t have to be big steps. But you must take a step every day. A small step every day will add up over time.

Other than before you have achieved great things and so can you achieve the dream you have for your life. ” Take action! An inch of movement will bring you closer to your goals than a mile of intention”- Steve Manali

You cannot achieve anything if you don’t take the first step.

So think about what you want and what is the tiniest step you can take towards it. Before you know it these tiny imperfect steps will add up and soon they will be one giant step toward achieving your dream life.

And don’t let self-doubts derail you. Doubt kills many dreams and keeps many immobilized. I like this quote by Mel Robbins ” Your doubts create mountains. Your actions move them.”

Stop Comparing Yourself

get unstuck

Remember, you are one of a kind. You are amazing. Claim your power back.  It is when you claim and own your uniqueness, the quirks, and all-and really own who you are, that you really start to feel joy in life.

It is easy to lose ourselves when we look to copy what others are doing just to be cool. Do something because it is meaningful to you, and that means being your authentic self. 

Don’t compare or try to be someone else. Oh, the woe that comparison can cause! Just scroll through Facebook for 5 minutes or Instagram. And Instantly you start to question your life. Are you even alive?  Are you good enough?

Do you dress well enough? How pretty is everyone you see on your feed and their perfect lives? Stop.

 Go right now and look yourself in the mirror and say after me,  ” I am beautiful, and I am enough.”

If however there is something positive you can do to improve yourself, then let what you see inspire a change such as eating right and exercising.

Do you want a certain way of dressing or grooming, then learn and create that if it will help you feel more confident. Nothing wrong with that.

Love yourself and replace all those negative thoughts with positive thoughts.  Don’t compare apples to oranges and remember the grass is not always greener on the other side.

Others are probably right now envying you. It is okay to improve yourself and your life,  but not because you want to impress anyone, or because you saw certain people do certain things.

Just know what you want because it will make you feel whole and full. Be fueled by the right purpose.

Related post: 11 Simple Good Habits for a Happier Life

Find New Friends.

how to find yourself when you feel stuck in life

There may not be anything wrong with your current circle of friends, but if they are stuck too and they want to maintain things as they are then you too will likely stay stuck.

You all will have a common comfort zone. A lot of people are lost in their comfort zone and if these are your friends, they will try and discourage any new changes you try to make.

Why? Because it makes them feel bad that you are changing for the better when they are not. 

Having the wrong friends is one of the most common reasons why many people stay stuck and lost in life. 

But to be the best version of yourself, you need friends who are driven in the same way. Friends who can also hold you accountable when it is needed. 

So ask yourself, this. Who are the 5 people in your immediate social circle? Who is your best friend? How are they doing in life? It is very likely that your habits are very closely attuned to theirs. 

To get unstuck you have to upgrade your relationships. You need new people in your life who are driven to move forward. You need people who have a  vision for self-improvement and success.

People who want to move past their comfort zone. So seek to relate to people who will motivate you and who are also motivated. It is good when you have a buddy to challenge you on the journey to change.

Go Way Back

Remember the dreams you had for your life way back when you were younger before the world threw cold water on your dreams. Revisit those dreams. 

That right there is a good starting point. 

Yes, retrace your steps to the time when you used to have enthusiasm for life. 

Remember the time you had so much hope for how your life would turn out? 

What dreams did you have then? What happened to stump them out? 

Feel how you felt then and harness that vision.

Sometimes life can really throw lemons at us.

Sometimes someone in your life discouraged your dreams and said they were silly or that you were not equipped to pursue those dreams. 

Something happened to derail you and completely alter the course of your life.

We are at times the product of our immediate environment. 

Sometimes other people’s expectations of us become our reality. 

 Maybe family or whoever came along and poofed your spark out. Dig that dream out. Dust it, shine it, and start going after it again.

Spend Time Alone

how to get inipred to get ustck

Learn to appreciate alone time. Go places by yourself.

Go to the movies and to dinner by yourself. Embrace quiet alone time. Use these times to reflect on the life you want.

Get to really know yourself. Get in touch with the real you. Journaling is a powerful way of understanding yourself and your unique perspectives, drive, and circumstances.

Establish a  routine that nurtures your mind and body through journaling.

And it helps too to have journal prompts if you are so stuck and you don’t know where to start.  Look for pretty journals such as this. I am all for pretty notebooks personally.  Here are a few others that may inspire you as well.

q? encoding=UTF8&ASIN=1441316663&Format= SL160 &ID=AsinImage&MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&WS=1&tag=thrivewithani 20&language=en US
q? encoding=UTF8&ASIN=1441322108&Format= SL160 &ID=AsinImage&MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&WS=1&tag=thrivewithani 20&language=en US
q? encoding=UTF8&ASIN=170043781X&Format= SL160 &ID=AsinImage&MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&WS=1&tag=thrivewithani 20&language=en US
q? encoding=UTF8&ASIN=1514122103&Format= SL160 &ID=AsinImage&MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&WS=1&tag=thrivewithani 20&language=en US

Look closely at the areas in your life that are no longer bringing joy. Are there relationships that need fixing or that you need to leave behind?

Or is it a career choice that is stressing you?  Is it the job that is not fulfilling you?   A career choice you regret. It is a bad career choice?

Come up with a well-thought-out plan to move forward.

During these times, layout plans for betterment. 

Write down new goals and plans for action. Also, appreciate what is good in your life. There is always something to be thankful for. And being thankful adds positivity, joy, and hope that more good things are coming.

Take care of your physical health

how to find your self when you feel lost and stuck in life

Without good health, it is hard to have the energy and focus needed to tackle such a big life change. So examine all areas of your physical health and ensure that you are:

  • Eating right. Nutrition will fuel you and help you feel energetic, and lift brain fog so you can focus. 
  • Drinking enough water
  • Sleeping well
  • Exercising daily 

Leave The Comfort Zone

How to get unstuck when you have lost yourself

One of the main reasons people get stuck in life is that they get stuck and lost in their comfort zone. It is easy and familiar and a step out feels so daunting and scary.

Our brains are designed to keep us here where it is safe and familiar.

It is a trick. Nothing makes a life sadder than being stuck in fear of going after the big things. Living a mediocre life due to fear and self-doubt is so limiting.  

Banish that self-doubt and go after the big fish you want. It can be scary to seek out new experiences. But sometimes that is exactly what we need to change our lives.

Sometimes we have to be so bold and make drastic changes that sound scary to think about now, but in the end, they will take us to our dream lives.

You may need to move to a new city to str over, even a new country, but you will be so glad when you see the new you. 

It is when we dare to go after our dreams that life becomes exhilarating. Imagine now how it would feel to succeed in the one thing you really want to do. Envision it. Then start taking steps. Even if you just take the tiniest steps they add up.

In the book, The Compound Effect by Darren  Hardy,  Darren outlines how small actions every day, lead to the outcomes that you desire, and of course, even inaction will also lead to their own outcomes.

 I highly recommend reading The Compound EffectCheck it out here. 

q? encoding=UTF8&ASIN=1593157134&Format= SL250 &ID=AsinImage&MarketPlace=US&ServiceVersion=20070822&WS=1&tag=thrivewithani 20&language=en US

The brain tries to protect us from danger, so those big dreams are scary. But remember, the scarier they are the more meaningful they are.

So to really find yourself, you have to face your fears and go after the big scary goals. Push now past your comfort zone to find yourself.

You really don’t want to look back later and wish you had taken more risks. 

At the end of life, many people regret not taking risks. So now is the time to really live.

Take more risks. Take action and dare to live now.

 Change Your Mindset

how to live passionately when you have lost yourself

Sometimes we stay stuck because our mindset keeps us thinking small. We create a narrative that keeps us small and stuck. Look closely at how you see yourself if you are feeling stuck and lost in life.

Have you ever thought you are just a nobody from no account heritage maybe?

Or do you worry that you are not educated enough?   Did someone tell you you are something or other? It is time my friend, to think big and see yourself as the person you are supposed to be -would like to be. 

You need to change your perspective. Having a new perspective opens up a whole new horizon for you.

It is a great way to help you identify that origin story and change it.

When you do change the narrative, you will change your life. Changing the story that doesn’t serve you is very important when we are feeling stuck in life.

Listen and watch this inspiring video so you can stop being average and small. Discover your purpose.

You can learn to change the way you think about yourself and your abilities.  You can change all that negative talk that keeps you from moving forward.

Negative thoughts are powerful and unfortunately pretty overpowering.

And since you have thought a certain way for so long,  neuropathways have been etched that keep you thinking the same way. But you can make new neuro-pathways that empower you.

You just have to practice a different way of thinking every day.  In other words,  think you can and you will.  All you have to do is believe in your ability. Now that is power.

People have done amazing things by believing and thereby surmounting some great odds.

 If you want to start living a meaningful life then you must overcome your limiting beliefs.

Redirect those niggling self-doubts and small thinking. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones.

Try saying affirmations even if you have to practice in front of a mirror.

That inner critic has to be beaten into submission and overcome so you can truly find yourself again.  Don’t believe much of that inner critical voice tells you what you can’t do.

How to find yourself when you feel lost and stuck in life

Find Inspiring Mentors

On the journey to finding yourself, and getting unstuck, you need a guide, a mentor.

Find someone who has done what you want to do. Which areas of your life make you feel stuck?  Seek out the right people who understand the struggle and can help you on your own journey.

Look for people who have done what you want to do and ask for guidance.  Learn and get inspired. 

Read inspiring self-improvement books.

Now is a good time to work on personal development.

 One great way to do so is to read self-improvement and self-development books. These books offer a lot of guidance when you need to make a big change in life.

A few books about change and getting unstuck in life include:

Eat Pray Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert

Educated is a great book about overcoming great obstacles, and achieving great things beyond what a limited mind would ever think possible. 

Another fantastic book I would suggest is Wild, and of course, let’s not forget Becoming by Michelle Obama. 

See this list of the best self-discovery books for more amazing books to help you find yourself again. 

Get professional help

A life coach or business coach would be great.  Sometimes we really need professional guidance to show us the way.

They can provide an action plan and step by guidance. Sometimes we can’t see the way by ourselves.  

But a life coach points you in the right direction and also holds you accountable.

Together with a life coach or a therapist, you can come up with appropriate personal goals to move your life forward.

Educate Your Self

how to find yourself when you feel stuck in life

So when you are finally ready to move past feeling stuck in life, one important thing is educating yourself.

Is there something you have always wanted to learn, to become but somehow you were dissuaded or got discouraged? Learning new things will feel you with pride and is a great step to take when you feel stuck.

If you truly want to feel alive and live the life you desire, then you need to learn to do the things that inspire you. Learning what the new life you envision and want requires creating reading books on it and educating yourself.

Learn what is needed to create the new life you want.  Do you need to go back to school? Or is it something you can do by educating yourself at home?

Good thing the internet now has so much info.  Invest in yourself and your education.

You can find inspiration on Youtube, listen to amazing inspirational Ted Talks, Podcasts or read self-help books.

You can follow inspiring people on Facebook and other social platforms. Learn from experts and then perfect these new skills.

Forgive And Forget

how to find yourself when you feel stuck

One terrible thing that keeps us stuck in life is holding on to old hurts and disappointments in life.

The weight of carrying old hurts and disappointments and anger can keep you stuck and mired in negative feelings. This leads to a dimmed light and heaviness in the heart and mind.

We can’t help that we come across people who just don’t live up to our expectations.

If these people are immediate family members I suggest finding a good mental health counselor to talk to for perspective.

Negative experiences suffered at the hands of those who are supposed to love us and protect us can color our worldview and make life difficult. 

You may need to shift your outlook and have a different perspective on your circumstances in life.  

Help yourself by letting go of old negative emotions. Don’t carry a tire around your neck. It will suffocate the life out of you. This lack of shine in this dimmed light only attracts more negativity.

You have heard of the law of attraction. Some people think it is only woo-woo, but it works. We attract what we are already looking for.

So if all we think about is negativity more of the same we manifest. But when we speak light and positivity, more will come into our lives. Try it.  And learn to forgive and move on.

How to find yourself when you feel lost and stuck

Take Responsibility

When you feel stuck and lost in life It is easy to take the easy path and blame others for your predicament. And yes people may have done you wrong.

But the best thing is to do ask how you can move past your current situation.

Taking responsibility doesn’t mean taking the blame. It is finding a way to change for your own good.

It means finally getting in the driver’s seat of your life and moving your life in the direction you want to go. Focus on your dream and stop looking to other people to make it happen.

Getting stuck in blame just makes you angry and bitter and keeps you from claiming your power.

Stop blaming others for what went wrong in the past.

Shake it off and move on to goals in sight and start living purposely knowing fully that the world, unfortunately, doesn’t owe anyone anything.

We all must create our own reality, and we can change our circumstances. You can succeed in spite of the present reality if you believe enough in yourself, your abilities, and your dreams.

We must step forth and stop expecting anything from anyone. Avoid blame and make your dream a reality by keeping it in focus.  Live purposefully.

Again, a mental health professional and a life coach can help you see clearly, bury your hurtful past and forgive so light can come into your heart.

Negativity and blames are too heavy and they keep one stuck in the past. Live today for yesterday is gone and you can make tomorrow so much better.


Have a healthy daily routine

Having a healthy daily routine is an important part of living a happy life. And if you need to get unstuck in life you need a healthy mind and body.

That means sleeping enough, eating healthy, and nourishing your mind with the right input.

 So I highly recommend having a morning routine as well as a night routine.

They actually work together to form this wholesome way that makes each day easier to manage. This boosts your productivity and your self-esteem.

Incorporate healing practices such as journaling, saying affirmations, meditation, and daily planning in your daily routine. These may seem like little things but they can do so much when you need to change your life. 

Do A Deep Clean

how to find yourself when you feel stuck

Yes, cleaning is important in finding yourself when you feel lost and stuck in life. Nothing like a thorough deep clean to fill you up with inspiration. A clean orderly environment clears the mind. It makes you feel light, unencumbered, and expansive.

When you have things in order and the house is clean, you feel a sense of accomplishment as well. This is a great first step in getting unstuck. 

And keeping excess stuff you don’t need is a sure sign you are stuck in life and of unhappiness.  Cleaning and getting rid of stuff is a big step to getting unstuck.

And hoarding all things is very stressful and an energy zapper that causes one to go in circles not knowing where to start and feeling stuck.

Do a deep dive cleaning of your whole house.

You will feel happier which will help you move on and leave behind the experiences you no longer care for. It will help you break free.  It will inspire and energize you.

A deep clean of not just your house but your entire life is a great first step to moving forward baggage-free.

Go on and prune relationships you don’t need. Clean your inbox as well and keep mail from only people you truly want to hear from.

And while you are at it you may want to follow only people who inspire you on social media.  Keep your real and virtuous environments inspirational.

Seek mental health help.
One big reason people feel stuck is when they are dealing with a mental health struggle or life issues that are way too big to resolve alone.

These require a therapist and counseling. In some cases, you may need treatment to clear the fog so you can see things clearly and have a more objective view of your situation so you know how to move forward.

When you feel stuck in life and just feel lost, it is profoundly important that you seek counseling and mental health help.

We all sometimes have blinders on and need someone else to help clear the path.

Seeking treatment is not a weakness. No, it is indeed strength. So make that call today and start finding yourself again

Final Words

I am here to tell you that it is possible to find yourself again and live the life of your dreams. I hope this guide has offered you the steps you need to start building a life you love.

You can change the status quo. Refuse to stay stuck in it. Make the right choice every day toward your goals. Take the first step and do one thing today that you will be proud of.

It may be the smallest step. Sometimes those small things add up to big results that pay off big in changing your life.  When you feel stuck, beginning small is actually best.

Just take a small step every day, and every day you will be that close to living the life you have always wanted. A life of freedom, passion, and true happiness is possible.

So now, tell me what step will you take first towards your dream life and go beyond feeling stuck? What is your next step towards finding yourself?

How to fidnyourself when you feel lost and stuck
moving on when you feel stuck in life

You may also like:

What To Remember When You Dont Feel Okay

50 Questions To Ask Yourself When You Feel Stuck And Lost In Life

How to be your best self every day

How To Set And Achieve Your Goals This Year

12 Major reasons why you are feeling stuck and lost in life

17 Best Books For Self-discovery To Inspire You(2023)

61 Simple Ways To Improve Your Life

How to fidnyourself when you feel lost and stuck

Similar Posts


  1. Awesome steps to find fulfilment. I practice them all and agree journaling is powerful to heal the past and design the future. This year for me it is stepping further out of the comfort zone. Thanks for sharing.

    1. Hi Angie! Thank you! It is great that you practice these steps. I agree journaling is a powerful tool to help really reflect and start to evaluate life and experience growth and one way to help one get unstuck.

Leave a Reply