How to be your best self

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Are you striving to live your best life and be the very best version of yourself? Or are wondering how to be your best self? And what exactly does it mean to be your best self?

These questions are to a degree personal and depend on the individual. But simply put,  to be your best self is to be authentic with who you really are.   And that said, being your best self is not easy, otherwise, we all would be living happy and productive lives waking up every day excited to start the day.  But for many that nagging feeling that life could be better, can be better or they can do better is a constant that reminds them they are not living their best lives or being the best version of who they want to be.


So, to be your best means showing up as your true self regardless of what others think, or what your parents told you to go after in life.  In essence, to be your best self is to live a life that fills you up. A life that is authentically you. And truly you know you are being authentic when everything you are doing feels effortless and brings you immense joy.

A life that makes you excited to wake up every morning looking forward to your day unfolding. It is to live fully with purpose.

It is to live a life that you have fashioned the way you want, listening to that ever-present but albeit quiet voice-our life’s north star and guiding light, our intuition.

You have one. Listen and follow through to the life you dream of.

But I know. That may be a bit vague, so in this post, I will give you simple effective steps to take to start living as your best self every day.

How to be your best self

how to be your best self

Nothing’s sadder than living all your life and realizing you have lived other people’s ideas of you rather than what you should have been doing to live authentically and fully.

Let’s not commit our lives to that fate.  Instead, follow the following steps to live the life you envision.

Leave the comfort zone

To be your best self means you learn to leave your comfort zone.

So many dreams die on the altar of the comfort zone. The comfort zone doesn’t challenge us but it doesn’t move us forward toward our goals and our vision.

And sadly it is hard, very hard to leave the comfort zone, but it can is done.

Simply take one tiny step each day to manifest your dreams. The hard the ideas seem, the harder you should try.

In fact, those things that seem really hard are actually a sign that is exactly what we need to pursue.

Visualize the life you want

Visualize the accomplishments that you would really be proud of.

To live your best life, you must know what you really want out of life. You must have an idea of what your best life would look like.

Just allow yourself to dream. If you woke up to your best life, where are you? What do you have planned for the day?

What career do you have? How are you feeling? Dream away. Then work towards making this vision a reality.  Come up with a vision board and let your imagination fly.

Improve yourself

Living your best life and being your best self is hard work. It won’t just happen. You have to put in the work, so by working on educating yourself. Maybe you want a new career, then learning is needed.

One simple way to learn and improve yourself is to read. Read to learn and read for fun.

Both of these open your mind in different ways. Reading is a great part of self-improvement.

Sometimes to be our best selves calls for changing our habits. Do you have bad habits that you need to stop?

Do you need to adopt better habits such as having a daily routine? Maybe you need to exercise more so you have more energy?

Part of self-improvement is also self-care. You cant be your best self when you are sleeping two hours a night and exhausted all the time.  You cannot be your best self if all you eat is donuts.

To improve yourself so you can be your best self, you may need to work on your mindset as well. Sometimes, a negative mindset can keep us stuck.

Look into these areas of self-development and make the changes necessary. It is hard, but you can do it.

You are on a journal to be your best self and nothing is going to stop you. You can do it.

Have goals

Having goals and planning is key to moving your life forward. When you have goals you know exactly what you are working toward. Goals when done right can be very motivating.

The key is to make sure the goals are realistic and achievable. So make smart goals that are specific and time-bound and realistic.

Take small steps if that’s what feels right. The important thing is not to be stuck but to keep moving forward.


Don’t procrastinate

So many dreams are killed by procrastination. To be where we need to be we need to follow through. But to stop procrastinating also need to understand why we procrastinate.

Are we afraid?  Is the work too intimidating? How can we simplify the process?  Are we facing a task we dread? The best thing is to do it and get it over with.

Remember, doing the most difficult task first creates room in your mind and prevents decision fatigue. So plan daily to tackle these proverbial frogs and you will feel so much better.


Practice self-love

To live your best requires self-love. Love all the parts of you inside and out. No one is perfect, yet we spend so much time and money trying to perfect our outward imperfections.

But please note. There is a difference between loathing a part of you and simply loving the way makeup makes you feel.

So if getting all dolled out makes you happy, do it. It is part of self-love. If you can change any outward imperfections to feel your best self, then that is okay too. Go for it.

Living your best life also requires that you practice self-compassion. Don’t go about beating yourself up when you fall. And yes, we all fall and fail sometimes.

We do stupid things sometimes. Learn from these situations. Every mistake and failure is a lesson. Take it as such. Give yourself grace knowing that you can do better tomorrow.

Embrace discomfort

Now that seems odd. How can living your best life be uncomfortable? Well, it is the process of getting there that can involve discomfort. First, to leave the comfort zone and do the hard work is, well, uncomfortable.

Sometimes embracing discomfort may include setting boundaries to protect your energy and your own happiness.

You may struggle to change some ingrained bad habits and develop better habits. And that is hard.

If changing habits were easy, there wouldn’t be drug addicts and alcoholics and hoarders, and any number of people with terrible habits that make them unhappy yet they have trouble changing. It is uncomfortable.

But that is how we grow.

how to be your best self

Take responsibility

Being your best self is taking responsibility and ownership of your life.

Learn to take responsibility. The thing is, when we go about in this life bitter and sad and blaming others for our situation, it takes our power away. Why give the power for your own happiness to someone else?

Someone has wronged you? forgive them and move on. When you carry the burden of bitterness it ways you down and blinds you. Put that weight down so you will be light enough to live happily.

Indeed, your days will be so much brighter when you are not so blinded by anger and bitterness.  As hard as it is, leave the past behind as much as you can if it weighs down. But remember the lessons. Always remember the lessons.

Your life is for you to direct. Change what you can change and choose to move on. Leave the hurtful past in the past.

If you feel stuck because of what has happened to you in the past, seek counseling or seek a life coach so you can move past the hurt and the psychological trauma that may have caused you.

Or if you are not satisfied with your career, or relationship, take responsibility to change what you can. In the case of a relationship, speak up, work things out or get out sooner than later.

I know that can be very very hard, especially for those long-term relationships.  But the longer you stay in a bad relationship, the harder it is to leave later.

If the differences are so great then it may not be worth it. If the other person is an abuser, please please seek counseling, find the courage, and I mean lots of courage to leave.

Life is so much more and you have great potential.  You can be so much more.  Take responsibility so you can live your best life.


Crush negative thoughts and limiting beliefs

Our limiting beliefs, our fears, and negative thoughts can keep us mired and stuck in life never moving forward to embrace our full greatness. Yes, you do have greatness within you.

Remember that small quiet voice I mentioned earlier? Listen to it and you will know what gifts you have. We all do. But our negative thoughts and limiting beliefs lie to us and stop us from achieving our dreams.

Blame our reptilian brain whose job is to keep us safe. We, therefore, avoid the unfamiliar just in case in that familiar situation we may get hurt.

Every time we want to rise up and try something new we stop. Not because we don’t want the new amazing ways this can change our lives, but many new things are scary, especially those that really matter.

Learn how to beat your protective brain from keeping you small and stuck.

The key is to take small tiny steps toward the things that matter but you find scary. Do them anyway. This will dramatically change your life in ways you would never have imagined.

As for negative thoughts, the more you give them free rein, the more they will torture you. Learn to refute negative thoughts. Ask yourself,” Is this really true?” What evidence do I have?”

In many cases, we get blinded by these thoughts that keep us unhappy. If you had an interaction that upset you don’t dwell on it too much.

You may be upset at the moment but don’t let it consume you or blind you. Don’t generalize it to a certain group of people either.  The trouble with negative thoughts is that they keep you pessimistic.

Unfortunately like attracts like. Remember the law of attraction? Well, it is real. Our brain somehow manifests the things we notice more. So embrace positivity and you find so much more joy in your life.


Develop good habits

how to be your best self 2

Living your best life means you become your best self. To do that you must examine your habits.

Do you have bad habits? What bad habits do you ask? Do you drink too much? Sleep too late? Are you lazy? It’s time to step up.  Adopt better habits.

Seek to do things that will make you healthier. A healthier body and mind will get you so much further in life.

Besides if you become sick from drinking too much, eating the wrong foods, or smoking, then you are not going to enjoy life.

So start now to move your body, eat healthily and stop putting toxins such as smoke plus toxins in fast foods in your body.

Be mindful. Learn to slow down as well and smell the proverbial roses or even the real ones.

Related posts: Best habits for a happy life 

Habits of confident women

Don’t totally depend on motivation

When you are trying to be your best self you cannot depend on motivation. What now? Yes, that’s right. Motivation is a big lie. Just think about all the things you were once motivated to start yet you soon found you had no more motivation to keep going. What happened next?  You abandoned them when motivation waned.

Also, think about how many things you procrastinate on sometimes because, well, you are not motivated right now. If you want to be your best self bad enough and make real changes in your life, then don’t wait to be motivated. Commit to doing the things that are important to you starting today.

Waiting until we are motivated can mean waiting forever. Motivation is just not reliable. You see, motivation doesn’t last. As Mel Robbins says, motivation is garbage. Strong words I know.

Unfortunately, we all think of motivation as this amazing power that drives us to achieve great things.  But trouble is, that drive is often very short-lived. Trust me.

Those who achieve great things do not do them on motivation alone. When we embark on a new project we may feel very motivated at first.

But as time grinds on, motivation wanes and if we are like most people, soon that project will be collecting dust in the corner when motivation flees as it does.

If the idea we want to pursue is new, we may become so intimidated, and the more we wait to be motivated the less motivated we become.

The best thing is to just start. Forget motivation because it sure is unreliable.

Ignore peoples judgment


be you best self

Don’t let people’s opinions of you stop you. Or fail to go after the life you want because you are worried about what will people say?

Oh, how much power we give to people’s judgment! Remember you have one life to live. Why give it away to other people?

People will always judge and talk no matter how perfect of a picture you try to portray. They will talk and judge anyway.

So go after your dreams. Be relentless in the pursuit of your own happiness. Remember the vision you have for your life. Seek those things that will fulfill you and judgment be damned, I say!

Have routines and processes

How to be you best self

Routines make life easier. They streamline your daily to-dos and your brain loves that.

Having a specific time to do the things you must do daily will make you a happier and more productive person.

You need a night routine as well as a morning routine. You can make it either as simple or as elaborate as you want. In fact, I think the simpler the better.

But when it comes to your sleep routine, be sure to be quite disciplined about how you wind down for bed.

You want to make sure you get to sleep at the same time daily and plan on at least 8 hours of sleep. Some people can get by with less but find out what works for you.

Avoid the phone and screens two hours before bed to optimize your melatonin production for deeper longer sleep.

When you do this you ensure you will wake up early enough with enough energy to tackle your day. You will feel awesome and be ready to crush the day’s to-dos.

Be sure your morning routine is streamlined so you are not rushing and getting upset.

A good morning routine will ensure you have enough time to shower and eat breakfast at the very least without a crazy rush.

Now if you can afford the extra time, scheduling your exercise, prayers, journaling, and affirmations to your morning routine will make you feel even better. Give it a try.

Develop daily routines to help you feel better every day, feel more inspired to go after your goals, and live your best life.

Be helpful to be your best self

We live in a society and we should live fully as part of society. That means we need to do our part to help where we are able.

If financially able choose a course to support. Volunteer at shelters and help those less fortunate.

Seek political power even if only in local government. Not so you can have power, but so you can have a voice to change your society in the right direction.

Being your best self also means being a participating and helpful member of society.

So step up and see what needs you can help with in your society, in your world.

And that’s it! That is how you live your best life. That is how to live a happy and totally fulfilled life. It is taking total unapologetic ownership of your life and being completely real and authentic.

That means it is doing the inner work, self-develop, and being totally real with yourself. It is taking steps and being committed to moving your life in the direction you want.

Try it and start the journey to a life you love and be your best self.


And that it’s it, my friend is how to be your best self every day.


So, there you have it.

Tell me, are you living your best life? If you are to live your best life, what would it look like?

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how to be your best self every day