Don’t you just hate it when you feel like things are just not going your way, and you really just can’t find your joy?
Typically there is always something that can easily zap the happy out of our lives. Chaos happens.
Things at times go wrong. We get stressed. And sometimes things may go wrong because we may be doing something wrong.
Or maybe there some areas in our lives that need some finetuning and smoothing out.
We may need a change, a new routine or a new way of looking at life.
Sometimes it is due to the habits that we have that we get mired in this unhappiness.
You may find that little habits can accumulate to cause hips of chaos that
just make our quality of life just wonky and all in all supy, unhappy. Well, girl, we need to change a few things and claim our joy.
Let us see here a few things we need to tinker with, tweak and start just the flow of joy and happiness.
Let’s claim our happiness. So there are a few things that can improve our lives vastly.
Let’s see here how we can start living happier starting right now. So to start we need to do the following:.
Oh my! I know Rome was not built in a day. But the Romans must surely have put in work daily to get it done. Yes, you may not be a history buff but even you have surely heard of the Roman empire? It was amazing.
Though the Romans I am sure made the slaves do a lot of their work while
they lazed around watching the bloody fights, lazing away in hot spas and
eating way too much and using something they called a vomitarrean. The
Romans apparently would eat till they upchucked.
Yuck! I am sure you didn’t need to know that detail. Anyway… back to finding happiness.
Okay, I think that’s why the empire collapsed. But enough with the Romans.
This about you and how you need to stop putting things off and then getting all stressed and feeling unhappy cos guess what, the bill was late and now you have to pay an extra 15 dollars.Just an example of troubles of procrastination.
Okay, that was me. But are you procrastinating in any way? It is high time to start a new habit.
Raise your hand if there is something you are putting off doing right now? You know yourself. And I form my part promise to work on this.
Procrastination is easy these days. There are just so many ways to do it. The distractions in our lives are many.
You can spend the whole day simply scrolling Facebook, bouncing between
Instagram, Snapchat, Pinterest and scrolling your tweeter feed, watching youtube channels. One can really spend all day doing this. It is easy to do.
We procrastinate sometimes to avoid doing something we don’t want to do. It is too big, too hard or scary or we think it is unpleasant. So we put it off.
When we waste time getting to our to-do list and put it off, things go wrong and we end up in an unpleasant situation.
The end result is stress and unhappiness.
No one enjoys stress, so if it can be avoided by getting things that must be done, done in a timely manner, then you feel at ease and much happier.
What’s wrong with this approach? Well, for one the problems we are avoiding may get bigger. If it is cleaning the house well, the house gets dirtier. And if it is something you have to do eventually, It is still there waiting to be done. So get done and move on.
So have a plan of getting your life in order by sailing through your list of to in a timely manner.
Stop comparing yourself
Oh, the woes the comparison game can cause us! Be careful of feeling sorry for yourself because someones social media pictures of their latest adventures look so amazing.
Yes, their life just looks great and so you start wondering why yours isn’t as good and feel bad about yourself.
And you get sucked into the vortex of unhappiness. Keep in mind that people only post the very best of themselves, most of the time.
These pictures do not tell the whole truth.
And if you are a mom, don’t compare your newborn’s milestones with those of another. All babies develop at their own pace. Your darling little one will reach hers in due time.
In the same vein, if your children are older, don’t force them to seek a college degree in an area they don’t want so you can be proud because they will become doctors.
You know, because that’s what your neighbor’s children are doing.
It’s a great career but they would be miserable. Love them for who they are and let them be who they are, of course, some guidance is needed.
Instead of comparing yourself to others, lets instead count our blessings.
There is always to be grateful for.
These are just some area of comparison that ca
n make you miserable.
If your house is clean and organized, then I say, more power to you. You are doing great!
And your mind perhaps feels lighter for it and you feel at ease. Aah! The joy of looking around and everything is clean and organized!
It is one of the best feelings ever. Just eases one into the zone of happiness. But someone has to do the cleaning and organizing.
A cluttered environment leads to a cluttered mind, and it causes stress. Stress means you have lots and lots of the stress hormone cortisol and the fight and flight hormones coursing through you.
And when this all is going on, you do not feel happy.
So have a plan of doing cleaning a bit each day putting things away right away so the clean up is not overwhelming.
If you have ever watched the TV Show Hoarders, you would notice that not one of those people is happy. Living in an unpleasant cluttered environment is depressing.
To improve your mental health, you have to clean and organize. I know that
I feel a peace wash over me whenever I finish cleaning, and things are where they should be. It just makes me feel calm.
An organized space is essential for mental health. You will feel happier if your living spaces are clean and organized.
Make cleaning and organizing your new habit so you can find your joy again.
Take pictures if you want and inspire us.
Love your self
Make yourself a priority. Yes, you are worth it. Do the things you enjoy daily. Get in touch with who you really are.
Take little moments to find you and fill that cup of joy with something small that makes you happy.
You know how they say you cannot pour from an empty cup?
Yes, they are right. Take a nap when the kids take one occasionally. Schedule to see a movie with a friend and have hubby watch the kids.
Do things you love. Read a good book. Take a long bubble bath. Infuse it with some sweet smelling essential oils.
Go all the way and relax with a glass of wine while you soak your tired muscles in some Epsom salt bath.
A great way to detox your body too. Nothing better at the end of a long day
than a warm scented bubble bath. Bath bombs such as these are a great way to unwind.
I have had moments that I know I have reached the point where I cannot
keep going and going, giving and giving more.
Because honestly at that point I am empty.
And I am like, “hold up!”. So I take some me time.
I have got to do something a bit selfish. We know it really is not selfish.
So I find something that makes me happy and I indulge.
You have to prioritize yourself some of the time, so you can then be the best
mommy, wife friend that you can be. This is simply self-care, it is not selfish really.
So one way to find and keep joy is through loving yourself through self-care.
Here is a great post all about self-care that you can check for more ideas.
We all have heard that if you fail to plan you plan to fail. Now that is harsh. But it is the truth.
Like the time you fail to write a list of what you need at the store, and then
you get there and buy everything in sight and then get home and oops! You forgot the very one thing you really needed to get.
And we all know what happens.
You have to go back tomorrow and come back home with a load of more
stuff you hadn’t planned on getting.
Yea, I have been there way too many times. So write that list and check it
twice and take it to the store with you!
Plan the weekly meals. If you know just what you’re going to cook every day
and plan for your leftovers as well, you, my friend will save money will
stress less when dinner time rolls around, and you will feel happier.
No stress when you hear “what’s for dinner mom?” Nothing as stressful as
starting to run around opening cupboards as you try to think what to cook for dinner at 5 pm.
There are many decisions to make daily and it helps to have a plan for as many areas of life as possible.
Make it easy on yourself and plan for as much as you can. This is especially
for mommas, mompreneurs, and moms who have to juggle so much. Which
mom isn’t juggling something? Find balance through planning your life.
This is one way to find happiness.
To stay motivated to plan, this cute planner keeps you organized and
inspired, and that to me is a win-win situation.
Manage your money well
Oh, the woes money can bring us! No one likes to be in money trouble. But that is one sure way to lose joy. And all those shiny things we want and need and desire can lead us in into trouble with money really easily.
You could go out or online and buy yourself those amazing dazzling jazzy
cute boots, but if you’re going to feel all stressed out about spending the
money that either you needed to save or taking away from bills, or worse
you are using a credit card, then giiirl, you got to stop right there and consider.
Consider a lot. So it’s on sale and you are spending 100 dollars and getting a
discount of 5o dollars. Great sale but you are still spending a hundred dollars.
The way you spend your money can make you giggly happy when you get
your hands on that amazing new purse, but when the bills come you may
feel very unhappy.
No one wants to get that dreaded call from the debt collector. So spending
wisely is a sure way to keep your life in order and find happiness. Money
can buy momentary happiness but overspending can surely buy a lot of unhappiness.
This has been said before. But it is important. You don’t want your kids to be
glued to their electronics all day. But are you not on your phone all day? It is not good for either.
Scrolling Facebook or any other media just causes anxiety, and likely
impacts your life negatively. If you suffer from anxiety or depression, being online too much will make it worse.
Research is showing that spending too much time on social media causes unhappiness.
So cut back. Put the phone down. Give yourself a limit and dedicate times to
check mail and to check your Facebook and then go do something useful or fun that is is not electronically based.
Take time for other activities. Go out and enjoy nature. If your space allows, take up gardening.
Smelling the soil is beneficial for mental health. Even just walking bare feet on the soil in a process called earthing helps with mental equilibrium.
And of course, seeing those roses you planted and tended bloom will fill you up with joy and pride vastly improving your sense of self-worth and happiness.
Or you could read. People are not reading books much and this makes me sad.
I worry about our children who are growing up with too much social media and losing the art of reading and even penmanship.
It is a fact that people who read are well, simply smarter. They know more,
are more informed even culturally for they experience other cultures through books.
They know more words, have a better vocabulary and are better writers as well.
Reading is so cathartic too. While you follow the adventures or struggles of the protagonist, you forget your struggles for a while.
They are entertaining too and a really great way to relax.
So to increase your happiness quotient, read more, spend some time alone with a good book. Read to the kids and show the way. This is a great way to fill your cup of joy.
Sleep is essential for mental health. Developing good sleep habits will help in all areas of your life.
It really is an insurance policy. Think about how you feel when you haven’t slept enough? Grumpy, yes.
Slow. Yup. That exhausted feeling, and heaviness, stops you from being your best self.
It stops you from reaching your goals, from kicking behinds of that to do list.
You are tired and you feel awful. I have never seen a happy sleep-deprived person. Sleep impacts all areas of our lives.
That’s why it is essential. When one is sleep deprived, one is depressed and
long-term sleep deprivation can cause a lot of bodily harm and cause illness.
You are probably nor a delight to be around when you are sleep deprived, and that affects your relationships.
You are not at your best and are not the best decision maker either. You can
make so many decisions that cause you unhappiness later.
Well, you’re likely to reach out for that donut because your decision-making faculties are down.
It is also proven that when one is sleep deprived, one eats more because
sleep deprivation causes an imbalance in the appetite and satiety hormones.
So guess what happens? You gain weight, and you become unhappy with your body and yourself. These are just examples of the troubles sleep deprivation can cause.
Read more about the benefits of sleep and the ills that ensue when we don’t sleep enough in this post.
Feed your mind and body
I recommend having a meal plan. This ensures that you are less likely to
reach for the wrong things that though are a delight to eat will no doubt cause you more harm than good.
We need to eat for mental health. Some illnesses such as dementia may
happen sooner or become more prevalent due to lifestyle choices such as consuming too much sugar.
You would be surprised to find out how much sugar is hiding in the
ordinary thing we take for granted. Planning what you will eat in advance will keep you on track for your health and weight loss goals.
By eating right you will improve your whole healthy body and mind. Good nutrition supports your brain health, a crucial element in staying healthy and happy.
Consider brain foods such as berries, oily fish such as wild salmon,
avocados, and nuts, and green vegetables. Eat whole foods. Stay away from processed foods.
Related post: 20 powerful superfoods for brain health.
No, I don’t mean across town or country. You don’t need to change location,
But your body, yeah, It needs to move. Our bodies were not made to stay stationary planted in our cushy seats.
Exercise is one really easy way to feel happy. It may be hard at first as all new habits require some effort. But once you get into the groove, you will never want to stop.
Just a nice brisk walk will feel you with exhilaration as those endorphins kick in.
The feeling one gets after a good run suffuses one with exhilaration better than some drugs. And yeah with no side effects.
And once you make this a habit and the weight starts coming off and you see that new figure, you are going to be even happier.
So start today this new habit of moving. Put those headphones on pump some good tunes on your phone and head out, walk or run.
Too cold outside you say. Well, good thing we are in the 21st century. Ask
Alexa. Say Alexa, Play …whatever songs make you want to dance. Now if
you don’t have Alexa, well you sure have youtube or your good old music player.
Girl dance like no one is watching. Momma, have a dancing sess with your
toddler. This is a great way to find your happy place.
This is a two-part deal. First, it is crucial that you detox negative thinking. If
we said half the things we say to ourselves about ourselves to friends, we
really wouldn’t have any friends. So Be your own best friend. Love yourself.
Look yourself in the face and Say… Lady, you are awesome!
Catalog all the great things you love about yourself. Think about the things you do well. Yes!
You do some things great, better than anyone else. And you are beautiful.
And if you are a mom, you are doing a great job. Stop questioning your mothering and having doubts.
You feed those babies, you bathe them take them to school, read bedtime stories, do homework with them.
Who said motherhood is easy. So what if you mess up a little sometimes.
There is no guide to motherhood, and your momma perhaps messed up and
you turned out great Yes you did. So take a deep breath and love yourself. Sometimes we are our very own worst enemy.
We are our own harshest critics. Stopping being so hard on yourself. You are doing great. You are a great mom. Yea you are.
So what if the house is not perfect! So you have a bit of baby fat left over? So what? You are beautiful.
You are still perfect and you are amazing, it’s indeed a wonder that you
housed a human in that body for nine months and then proceeded to put
them first throughout their life. Take pride in that.
And yes even if you don’t cook from scratch daily, they will still turn out
okay. So take a moment and appreciate yourself. You’re doing great
momma, just carry on just as you are.
Anyone in your life stressing you? If you can ditch them. Do it. Now I know
this is hard as some may be your family members and ditching them can be
hard. But friends, if they are not bringing you joy, give yourself some distance.
Now I am not advocating for divorce and I know these partner
relationships can be delicate and complicated. But asses the situation
carefully, and if you feel you have given it your all, and you see no change
will ever come, stop marking time in unhappiness, move on. Life is too
short for joyless relationships.
Cut loose people who are causing stress and painting your world grey. I am
sure there are people who appreciate you. Spend time with those.
I say let go out there and conquer chaos and streamline our lives, through
self-care, cultivating new enriching habits, evaluating the things that are no
longer bringing us joy and doing more of what makes us happy. Practice
new healthy life habits for a wholesome and happy life.
Tell me, what do you do to be joyful? How do you keep from being
overwhelmed by daily life? Do you have a system that works to keep your
life in order and happy? Tell me more below in the comments.
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