Negative self-talk and negativity can keep you imprisoned in a gloomy dark world that is joyless. I should know. There is so much joy lost when we only see the dark side of everything in our world, allowing negativity to color our world view.


So can one really change the way they see and respond to the world around them? One can.  It is not easy, but it can be done.

You have learned over time to say and respond negatively, and so it will also take time to change that.

Let’s see how we can accomplish this life change and start experiencing more joy. Let’s start seeing our glass as half full and not half empty, shall we?.

So how in the world and this amazing feat is accomplished?

The following are a few simple ways that can help you get rid of negativity in your mind and your response around everyday encounters, your negative thoughts and start to find more joy in life.


Lets  lets see the ways…


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Find humor in some situations

How to get rid of negativity and find joy

Let’s just say it. Some negative situations can be funny too. And sometimes laughing at ourselves definitely lightness the situation. This I think is one of my unsung strengths.

Now I don’t advocate laughing at the funeral, unless where it may be appropriate like remembering the diseased shenanigans, or their own humorous way of looking at the world and never sweating the small stuff.

Life even in dire situations can be funny. Laughing at our foibles can reduce negativity sometimes.

Try where appropriate to see the funny side of things.

Here are some all-time best funny reads. Laugh along as some courageous souls laugh at life in spite of: Try We Are All A Mess; Its OK by Amy Kyle, and see the humor the author found in everyday happenings around her.

Or here is another hilarious look at life and people by the very funny Jen Mann, in  Working With People I Want to Punch in The Throat.

Doy you know such people, work with such, have met such. They can be annoying but in retrospect at times just maybe funny.

It can be really helpful even therapeutic to laugh at life sometimes.  Leave those negative feelings behind through good humor.

Complain less

I definitely see a lot that is wrong in the world. And I can be quite loud and vocal about it to anyone and all who care to listen. (Usually my husband. Poor man! ).When I see things are wrong and someone or some people are making the world an impossible place to live, and  Mars is still not habitable, you know, I will say it.  What’s a girl to do.

She can complain. But even better is taking action.

Be active in your community and be part of the action that sets things right. Start at home.

How to avoid negativity and find joy

Set things right. Don’t complain. Hold a meeting and talk to each other so you can air your issue and brainstorm ways to make things better.

Do that in the schools and in the community. Go to the town halls in your community.

Talk to your elected officials. Complaining doesn’t do much if it is all negative.

Yes, you can complain, but in a way that is likely to effect change. Go on that march to start a change in your current event s and environment.

Avoid negative criticism

OKay. Let’s be real here. Sometimes we have to say when something isn’t right.

When someone is going in the wrong direction we need to point it out. We sometimes have to make corrections where needed. But it is how we say it that is differentiates negative criticism from positive helpful correction.

I love the way managers sneak in corrections to the employees. Thay will say something like:

“You handle that customer so well. Your greeting was great. And you did this other thing so well.  Now it would be awesome to find a way to make b better.”

“Let me know if you need help. Overall you are doing great, ” they say.

So basically,  tell the person where they are wrong but not in a nagging or yelling way. Be nice. Ask for improvement positively.

Eat Right

How to avoid negativity

Girl, you may need a power snack. Or a real meal. Hunger can sometimes sneak in on us. And it may take a moment to realize why you are grumpy and  you just find  that every little thing  makes you want to bite some head off. You just need some nutrients in your body to fuel your mind.

Keep to eating at regular times an avoid skipping meals. If you are doing intermittnet fasting, make sure you are doing it right.

When hunger strikes we get the moody, and irritable, and negativity soon follows.

This moodiness can show up in the form of angry and negative thoughts where no one and nothing pleases you. It is an ugly place to be, and no one really really wants to be a negative Nancy. No there are some wonderful Nancy’s, and that is just a figure of speech. I thought I should explain.

Anyway,  nutrition does affect mood. So many nutrients, such as B vitamins, Magnesium, Omega 3 fatty acids, vitamin C,  Vitamin D, contribute a lot to our mental health and the nervous system.

How to get rid of negativity for good

When you are chronically malnourished, and many people are, you may start having a short fuse and feeling depressed, anxious, blue and generally out of sync with your self. That can manifest in negative thoughts, easy irritation, and gloom.

Please, for the love of happiness,  make sure you are getting adequate nutrition for your total wellness.


See this post to find out how nutrition affects your mental health.

Depression Nutrition: Food that Improves Mood and Mental Health

Best Healthy Supplements to Manage Anxiety Naturally

13 Best Vitamins for Great Health


Go to the source

 How to avoid negativity and find joy

Dig deep. Deeper even. Find the cause of your unhappiness.  What is really causing you to be negative? Sometimes you are bubbling with negative thoughts and energy because something deep down in your soul or in your life is not right.

Why are you unhappy?

Do some mental and life issues analysis to pinpoint what is causing you unhappiness and negativity and start finding ways to change it.

It may be your current job. Think about changing jobs.

Do you need to go back to school and start over? Not easy. Brainstorm some changes that need to happen to align your soul with your life.


Get unstuck.

how to be positive in hard times

Never ever give up on your dreams.

What do you dream about doing that would make your life a living dream? Right now I am working on mine. Working on this blog is my joy and my dream.

I  Have found my thing and that brings me a lot of joy.

I was in a rut before. I worked in the hospital and though I like to help people, that was not in alignment with the soul.  I was only happy when I educated patients.

Enlightening the world is my passion.

Recently after applying to my dream nursing job  3 different times, I finally got the job.

And I am thrilled.

Yes before then I used to be pretty negative. I knew the source of my misery and I went about changing it.

It is never too late to change something that is causing you distress.

Granted not everything can be so changed, so change what you have the power to do.

You will be surprised at the empowerment. And negativity will be gone.

Stop blaming

So you and your spouse are in spat.? Ever noticed how spouses go back and forth battering blame?

“You are so permissive with the kids,” and she is like “you are too strict you could be Hitler!”

Being such polar opposites cannot get you anywhere in winning your argument with your spouse.

Or anyone.

You must find common ground.

Life is a matter of negotiation sometimes.

Meet in the middle. Negotiate. Talk about solving a problem and bring your polar strengths and vibes to the middle common ground.

If only people would talk instead of yelling at each other, blaming.

If two people decide they want to solve a problem instead of blaming, they get so much further in peace and harmony and avoiding negativity.

Keep an Orderly Space

How to avoid negativity

Decluttering is so essential for mental health.

There is something to be said about the art of tidying up. Really. Too much clutter is bad for your mental health.

The chaotic environment creates chaos in your brain and you find you are more unhappy as a result.

Unfortunately, one sign of depression is lots of clutter and unkempt spaces.

While that is understandable due to the debilitating lack of energy the illness can cause the clutter in itself also causes more negative feelings and can make depression even worse.

Try to keep your living spaces as tidy as possible.

I am not the biggest cleaner there is, I will just straight up say it.

And where is the time between a full-time job and aside hustle?

But the idea is to tidy up a little each day. Pick up a little each day.

Make that bed as soon as you wake up.

One of the biggest and most important things you can do is make the bed.

If you start there you will find that you feel better and are likely to want to clean other areas of your house.

Starting with that one positive thing helps your motivation and sense of accomplishment.

Besides, the bed being such a central focus of the room, if unmade the whole room feels off-kilter and untidy. This untidiness messes up with your mind and.

Clean spaces are uplifting, and that is one simple way of reducing negativity.

Avoid excessive worrying

How to get rid of negativity and find joy

Worrying, unfortunately, doesn’t solve anything. So you have two options. Do something or let it go.

Let it Go

Don’t dwell on all the unfair and mean and stupid things people have done to you.

Change your words, change your thoughts. It helps to let go of negativity when you refocus your thoughts.

Better yet, if someone upset you, kindly tell them, clear the air and then move on.

Don’t hold a  grudge.

Okay, there is a third option. Pray. Then let it go. Give it to God.

Have faith and then let God show you the way.

And that is is doing something.


You can also brainstorm how to solve the problem you are worried about.  Brainstorm ways to deal with the issue. This empowers you as you come up with solutions to the problem.

And once you start working on the issue and finally do it, you are empowered. While you work on the plan, you concentrate on solutions and not on worrying.

You can also ask for help. Asking for help is not a weakness.

There are some areas of life that require more than one mind to straighten out. So seek your friends out if they can help.

Some problems may require your church or Pastor, or other members of your community.

Seek help if you are under too much pressure and stress.

You can seek mental health counseling

Counseling is not just for those who have a mental illness.

Counseling is for anyone dealing with big life-changing issues. It can help you refocus and avoid tunnel vision.

When we are under too much stress, we can respond with negativity because we are empty of joy.


Work Out to sweat it out

How to avoid negativity

Exercise can is a greater healer. First of all, you get a great high without ever smoking anything your mom would frown upon.

Okay! Your mom would probably frown about all kinds of smoking.

Exercise is great at reducing negativity. With increased blood flow to our brains and vital organs, exercise helps us feel whole light and happy.

The endorphins released from exercise make you feel happy.

Any time you feel a bit down go out and take a brisk walk. I promise you will feel better.




Meditate to clear negativity

Taking on the mind quieting practice of meditation can slow your mind and clear negative thoughts and negativity. Meditation call upon you to harness your thoughts. It silences the mental clutter.

Just sit in a quiet place and take deep slow breaths and chant a mantra. Clear your thoughts. Center your self.

Use a meditation app or a video such as this one



or this one

Practice Journaling.

Dive deep into those emotions through writing in a journal.

What is topmost in your mind right now? The one thing that is bothering you. Write that down. Do a mind dump, and let go.

Journal prompts sometimes help you find the focus for your thought sand guides your journaling to give you more clarity.

See this journal prompts for ideas. 

Related: Journal Prompts for Self Love and Mental Health

Another good resource to help you really get to know yourself and reflect on things, accept and acknowledge, move on and practice gratitude is 52 Lists. 52 The List is a journal that will guide you in the art of journaling for growth and happiness in a beautiful book that leads you gently to happiness and booting negativity out of your life.  You can get 52 Lists here.

Self Care

If you have neglected self-care, you will feel out of sync and get easily rattled. Negative energies tend to flock to you if you feel overstretched. It is hard to feel positive when you feel empty.

Create space and time for doing things that bring you joy. Schedule those things and do them. If going to the spa is your thing and within your budget, do it. As women and moms, finding time to squeeze in the joyful things is crucial for our mental health.

If we don’t take time to care for ourselves then those we care for may suffer. We cannot pour from an empty cup.

And woe unto you, if you try to squeeze a drop out of an en exhausted, strained women. Not fun. She may bite your head off with her words.

Mommying is hard enough. Doing it rattled is harder. Be the mom we all envy. The one who doesn’t yell, calm and collected like a quiet stream. Self-care can help you get close to that ideal. Here are some ideas for moms to practice self-care. 

Help others

Doing good things for the common good is very empowering and brings lots of joy and fulfillment into your life.

So volunteer in your community or simply help a friend in need.

Go and adopt a pet.  Volunteer at the animal shelter or the hospital. Go hold those babies in NICU. Or give that mom in the NICU a break.

Nothing like being helpful to fill you to the brim with good things and positive vibes.  This is an amazing way to fill up with joy and eliminate negative thoughts.

As humans we are meant to live in community and volunteering gives you a  greater sense of purpose and belonging. This will fill you up and reduce negativity.


 Change your lense of focus and look for good things.

Is News annoying you?  Watch TV selectively. Some shows can leave you feeling worse and irritated or even angry.

Have you seen the news lately? All those politicians doing things that make one absolutely upset yet helpless. So talk of negative feelings. The best thing, watch some inane funny movie on NetFlix. Yup! I am all for that.

But you can also change your focus. Good things are happening.

Would it not be great if there was a News channel that showed only good News and good things happening in the world? There are some good things that are happening. We just need to change ou focus and stop being so negative.

Babies are being born.  People are overcoming great odds and succeeding.

Some people are beating greet odds and healing from illnesses. People are marrying their high school sweethearts and living happy lives.

There are many other stories with happy endings. Rescue missions are happening with some brave people going out to help others. I know, we don’t want to pretend that horrible things are going on too.

But we do need to see the good things too. The sun is shining.

For me, that is a good day, as long as it’s not drought and people needing the rain are not getting it.

Concentrate on the good things happening to you. There is something good going on. There is always something good even when the odds seeming to be against you. Let’s count our blessings and practice gratitude.

Choose your friends wisely

How to avoid negativity and find joy

Be with people who bring you joy.

Do the people you spend time with making you feel joy after you spend time with them? Go to past or recent encounters and remember how you felt. If you don’t come home feeling like you can fly with all the girl laughed, and that down feeling happens often, then you need to reconsider the relationship.

If a person just talks negatively about other people, full of negative gossip, then they will bring you down into their gloomy dark world. I don’t mean that you should not listen to a friend if she is telling you about some issues she has. So long as she is not always dumping on you, it okay.

Rethink that friend. Okay, sometimes things can be serious and some deep talks that are not of the giggly kind take place.

That’s okay. But if you come home feeling demoralized and less than, or all they do is gossip about friends, then those are negative Nellies.  Ditch them. Keep only the positive vibe friends.



Spend less time on social media.

Distance yourself from the noise.

Isn’t the world just so noisy these days? I do honestly miss the simpler times of times gone by. Yes, I want to go back in time. Not so back. No. The 1500 hundreds were a bit too dark, no science, fully of witchraft and suspicions and heresy and some other unpalatable stuff. But the 80s were nice. And I was young and carefree. So there is that.

But really though, there was no internet all over the place with too much information overload.

And the competition to outshine each other on Instagram! On occasion, someone is real on social and shows that their life is not always roses and pearls.

But Lordy, for the most part especially on Instagram, people are just perfect.

And a body can feel disgruntled and less than compounding feelings of inferiority and squashing confidence.

Easy to be a negative Nelly.

Or someone on social media someone will start a discussion and bad words are exchanged. Why fight with strangers or anyone on social media.

Besides the extreme information overload, all vying for your attention is exhausting.

Dedicate social media-free time and engage in other soul-soothing activities.  How about listening to music while you clean, or do something else. Just think about the time we waste on social media only to surface back up hours later, depleted of all our joy!


Create or etch space for calm

How to get rid of negativity

Take time out for quiet moments. In these moments turn your phone and other gadgets off and do some calming activities. At these moments notice the beauty around you. Take a book and read outside and enjoy the outdoors. A bit of comedic reading would be great. Nothing like laughter to keep negative thoughts away.

Do something that is calming. Personally I like doing crafts such as knitting or crocheting. They calm my mind and keep the negative thoughts away as I enjoy the feel of the yarn and the pattern  I am working on.

You can do other enjoyable activities such as gardening if that is your thing.

You could also paint or color. Adult coloring books can be so fun and pleasantly distracting. A great way to keep away negative thoughts.


There, you go! Just a few ways to make your world happier and reduce negativity.


And please, tell me in comments below, how do you get rid of negativity?


Here is a pin, please share.


How to get rid of negativity and find joy


How to get rid of negativity and find joy in life